Us "Nots"...

"Whats your name?"  I ask the new little boy in the neighborhood.  He answers.

"Oh, I've heard the other kids talk about you."

"Yeah," he says, "I'm bigger and stronger than the other kids.  I can even ride my bike faster.  Wanna see?"

My attention zoomed in on this kid.  Now knowing that he's not just "any" kid; I reply, "Oh is that so!  I would love to see how fast you ride your bike."

After he goes into the street and races up and down so fast and so hard that sweat drips down his temples, I commend him and his excellent efforts!  He can ride amazingly fast, and then I encourage him to use the brakes and not the soles of his shoes to turn, because brakes are so much "cooler."  Then I ask "Can I ask you a few questions?" to which he consents.  "Do you sometimes feel like you aren't as special as the other kids?"

His body squirms, his eyes don't meet mine but land off in the distance somewhere.  "Sometimes," came the quiet reply.  I knew "sometimes" didn't tell half the story that his body language and the sad tone of his voice did.

You know that old saying, "It takes one to know one."  Well, in this case it is very true.  I recognized in him rejection, a great pain, and a wound that seemed to cut into his very being.  Have you ever identified with someone, a speaker, an author, a singer, a friend, who was bold enough to share an experience that changed their very being?  And as you listened, your soul stirred.  Those memories came back to your mind and you understood the presenters very heartbeat.  Their very emotions or experiences that had changed them, at sometime, had changed you too.  Me too....

See, when I looked into that little boys eyes, I recognized something I've seen in my own eyes.  One time I wrote... Her Eyes and it tells about those eyes that speak.  One part says,

"I wear eyes that speak for me,

They tell the story of hurt,

They tell the story of brokenness,

They speak of pain...

When I see talking eyes on others I know what to do,

When I see them in the mirror staring back at myself I wish to take them off like a pair of glasses...

I wear a pair of eyes that don't shield me but reveal me.

They speak where my mouth can't."

And his eyes spoke what his words couldn't. 

Thankfully, My King has come to heal and use the wounds behind the eyes that reflect so transparently.

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are "Not"—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.

1 Corinthians 1:27-29 (Underline and Paranthesis are mine because I see me in that little word)

That little boy was a "Not".  I know that he even knows because he immediately tried to "convince" me otherwise.  He even tried to blow-out the other kid's candles' to try to "convince" himself that he's not a "Not".  I used other tactics when I was young, but they all are used for the same purpose.  Somewhere along the way though... I gave up.  I gave up riding my bike as fast as I could, I gave up the sweating, because you do sweat when you try to fight against what God created you to be.  My shoes stopped wearing out as quickly at that point because I learned my purpose and used the breaks on my old thinking. 

When I stopped fighting the realization that I was a "Not," and started to live in that reality, I found myself more emptied...
For His purposes.

I knew who I wasn't, and was Ok with how I so quickly ran out of what I really needed. That left me finding myself dependant upon Him...

Always for His love because others love is empty and failable 

Always for His Joy because it's like putting on His strength. 

Always for Him because His gifts aren't even enough. 

Yes, we "Not's" experienced much pain and reduction to bring us to the place where He needed us to be.  Yet, I've found...

Your way was in the sea,
Your path in the great waters,
And Your footsteps were not known.
Psalms 77:19

So, through our wildernesses, our tribulations, our great waters, our King's presence, His very footprints went with us.  His plan for those who could be considered "Not's" is to race past the worldly wisdom, the human strength, and the things that appear to "be", to show Him as The Great I Am.

You see, truely abiding in Him changes our "Not" into whatever He "would be," in whatever the moment calls for Him "to be." 

Only this Great kind of God could choose a "Not" and shine His Goodness through! 
A "Not" like that little boy, and somehow, even me.

"See I know something about you.  Even though I just met you," I told the little boy.  I know that God created you and that He never makes mistakes.  I know that He has a plan for your life and great purpose for you to carry out.  So don't worry so much about not feeling like you aren't as special as the others because in God's eyes, you couldn't be more special."

Our eyes locked.

He smiled

And he, another "Not", rode off on his bike without racing, because he's begun his journey of finding who he is, in the eyes of the One who truely matters.