You know those times when you aren’t feeling very good about yourself?
When you miss those companions that used to fit you like a glove
You know those times, where your heart feels like its breaking
For the “what ifs”, the “I wishes” and the “if onlys.”
It seems when you’re in that very place, when you need a friend just to understand, the phone rings,
“Uh huh. Oh, OK.” Another thing to deal with… another demand.
Where’s someone to hear me, feel my heartbeat, know me?
You have taken from me friend and neighbor- darkness is my closest friend. Psalms 88:18
How I long for a walk on the beach
I have bathed in the sunset, felt the waves roll gently in.
Pressed my toes into the sand
Feel the water swirl around my feet, filling in the depressions that press into my heart.
God, that’s what I’ve forgotten… how you stick closer that a brother
How I’ve needed you
I feel like I’m stuck in quicksand, not on a joyful journey.
I feel like the sun is setting leaving me stranded in the dark.
“… Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.” Exodus 20:21
Yet, this is where I find You…
Here…
In the dark, In the sand
Long after the sun has set.
Sticking closer than a brother, than a friend with skin
I cling
Knowing You have me here
Adjusting my eyes
Trusting it’s for great purpose
And here I dwell, where my companions…
Moses, David, Jesus, and Paul once lived.
Their recorded footprints tread a path before me.
In the dark, in the sandy desert places where the hope of an oasis isn’t just a mirage
And a friend, Jesus, my King of my darkness and sand, dwells with me until my feet are washed in the sandy water, that rubs me like sandpaper,
And me smoothed to His likeness.
So that I can run in the fields and drink from His oasis
When the sun rises…
In the morning
~I wrote this on a day when I felt lonely and discontent. I used to fight those emotions and purposely try not to feel them. Somewhere along the way though, I learned that negative emotions can have great purpose and lead to a greater fulfillment of life. It just so happens that this discontent allowed for the sweetest reunion with those companions that "fit me like a glove." May the greatest friend of all help you see the "whys" behind your dark days.
In Him,
Jen
~I wrote this on a day when I felt lonely and discontent. I used to fight those emotions and purposely try not to feel them. Somewhere along the way though, I learned that negative emotions can have great purpose and lead to a greater fulfillment of life. It just so happens that this discontent allowed for the sweetest reunion with those companions that "fit me like a glove." May the greatest friend of all help you see the "whys" behind your dark days.
In Him,
Jen
